My name is Rachelle. I am 22 years old. My mental illnesses have affected my ability to cope with everyday stressors and forming relationships with others whether that meant romantically or just as a friend.
My childhood was not the greatest; I was verbally and mentally abused by an alcoholic. My dad left when I was little and my mom was not emotionally available for myself and my siblings. This has caused me to have major depressive episodes and massive panic attacks as I grew up. I attempted suicide at 17 and failed. I made two more attempts between the ages of 18 and 21. Between that time, I experienced a lot of heartache. My partners had cheated on me and one had even gone as far as to rape me and physically abuse me. I felt alone in this world and had a very hard time seeing the point of staying alive anymore.
At 18, I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder and I was put on many different medications to try to fix these issues as the meds were just not working. I felt like nothing was getting better and I continued to fight for the help I needed; not many doctors, ERs, or therapists would listen to me. I had my son in 2016 and afterwards I started to act a lot differently; I became angrier, more violent, and more suicidal. I was hospitalized in June of 2016 and put on even more medications. Nothing worked and it took at least 4 therapists to finally diagnose me last year with Borderline Personality Disorder, Social Anxiety, PTSD, Dependent Personality Disorder, and Bipolar II.
I currently am off all medications and seeing my lovely therapist every week. I’ve never felt better! I still struggle some days but I feel like I have a purpose especially when it comes to being there for my son. I’ve started working on workbooks at home to better myself because at the end of the day we have ourselves if no one else is there to help.